It seems like motivation, or maybe a lack of it, has been a theme for a while. In the life of an endurance athlete, it's important. Motivation can make you feel invincible. Lack of it can make you feel completely worthless. I've struggled throughout the beginning of this year with motivation. Made me feel horrible. I went from consistent 30-50 mile running weeks and running ultras to sitting on the couch, unable to make myself do anything. I didn't gain weight, per se, but everything certainly rearranged itself around my body. I signed up for some races, ones that truly scared me, to see if that would help. It didn't. I was reduced to 25 and 30 minute sessions, spinning bored on my trainer. It was all I could make myself do. I'd run, "to the park and back." At 1.4 miles, a far cry from where I used to be. And it was hard. Not just a little bit hard, it was HARD. Like, I'd never run that far hard.
Then I had a conversation with my husband. In one of his (rare ;-) moments of insight, he told me to be patient. That I've now been running, biking, climbing, and an athlete (I have such an issue considering myself as such) for 20 years now. That I know damned well I can get it back. Just be patient. Now, that has never been my strong suit. ESPECIALLY not with myself.
I realized he had a point. And (gasp!) he was right. I thought some things through, decided to bail out on the running race that I didn't have a prayer of finishing upright, and give somebody on the wait list that truly deserved the spot a chance. Made me feel better, actually.
That was two weeks ago. And damned if I don't suddenly have the motivation to go out and just run again.
And ride my bike, for that matter.... Patience, people!
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